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Lessons in life, revelations and affirmations tend to show up when you least expect them. They can appear in a book, a performance or part of a conversation with a friend. I recently had the good fortune to spend “An Evening With” the iconic John Legend. His voice and piano skills are in their own category, and I loved the show. However, it was in the telling of his life story that this affirmation appeared.
While it is tempting to focus on his current success, his life story illustrates the idea that everyone has struggles, bad things do happen, and our story unfolds. At the same time, we learn that these moments often also bring hope and inspiration. We encounter people and ideas that can change the trajectory of our lives. We weave threads, snippets, and themes in our minds. We formulate stories we tell ourselves and others.
Quincy Jones told John Legend early in his career that “the definition of being cool is having the ability to be yourself in all circumstances.” John Legend went on to share that as an artist, you must find your voice—and then make music that actually stays true to that voice.
If cool is being yourself, how do we handle times when we feel uncomfortable, different, odd, or somehow a misfit? How do we tell our story and how often does it include one of those words? How do we handle this feeling in the workplace or represent ourselves at work? How does the story change over time? How do we stay true to our voice?
It takes strength to recognize that by being ourselves we are cool. It takes courage to trust that our voice and what we have to say is cool. We aren’t like everyone else, and that is good, but bringing it forth isn’t always easy. With friends, it may feel less risky to step out of a comfortable space and bring forth your “cool.” At work, the impact may be greater. Even in casual conversation we can explain or describe ourselves in such a way that doesn’t give us favor.
Perhaps a good start is committing to avoid thinking of ourselves as odd, different or nonconforming. Practicing our vocabulary inside our head is a good start. If we can modify the script that we use within ourselves, the words we saw out loud may follow. I propose trying to use more positive words such as unique, special, rare, one-of-a-kind, distinctive, innovative, creative and cool when we speak of ourselves, even if it’s just to ourselves.
I like the sounds of those words. I like the message it sends to us and others when the time is right. This is important and so meaningful as we proceed through life. What is our story? How do we tell it? There is always good and bad to every situation.
I have a feeling if we believe it, practice it and tell it in a more positive way, there is greater hope for connection with others. We provide an invitation to bring forth and honor all our given gifts. Our courage may surprise, enlighten and inspire another human being to do the same. Cool is just being who you are, wherever you are, whomever you are with…why not give it a try and be a personal storyteller that makes us the special human being that we are!
“It’s hard to be a diamond in a rhinestone world.” – Dolly Parton
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